5 Reasons Why the Earth *Should* Blow Up Next Month

Last week, I expressed some fear about the earth *possibly* imploding at the flick of a switch, as a result of the Large Hadron (one of these says I am just going to say fuck it and spell it hardon) Collider experiment I thought was going to take place. Well, as it turned out, these were just preliminary tests that they were running, and the actual "switch" isn't get "flicked" until next month, the 21st of October. If the calculations of these great minds involved happens to be incorrect, we could all be doomed and dead before we have any idea what happened. Cool, huh?

It made me wonder if this was such a bad thing. I mean, looking at the way the world is today, if I had a doomsday device in my hand, why wouldn't I pull the trigger? Here I five reasons that someone maybe should.

5. Environmental Disasters
We have ravaged the earth with so much pollution and disregard, it is almost as if it is trying its hardest to spit us out. With all the natural disasters happening around the earth and their devastating consequences, this planet is eventually going to be completely unlivable. What has two thumbs and doesn't want to constantly have to deal with tsunamis, hurricanes, and earthquakes that only seem to increase in volatility? This Guy. The effects of Global Warming can be felt year after year, and nothing is ever done to plug the hole in the ozone layer. If we wait until it becomes something that directly effects us on a individual level it will be far, far, far too late.

4. Apathy
The main fuel driving this post. Ah, where do I begin? People often find it difficult to distinguish themselves from that big orange thing in the sky that makes the stars go away and burns their eyes when they stare directly at it. This is why bad men in control are so easily able to make bad things happen. They have the consent of the people, whether or not the people know it, or care to know it. People are too centered on themselves, in a time when that kind of thinking causes detriment to everyone else. As long as I can dock my ipod on the dashboard of my hummer and listen to it while I drive to McDonald's, I'm good.

What I wish people would focus on more is the mentally of today's youth. Not all of them, but most of them are mountain-dew and high definition addicted mutants with no attention spans and with no regard for hardly anything. Just spend 20 minutes on xbox live, or just about anywhere on the internet, for that matter. These are the ones who are going to be taking the keys to the country, as if our options could be more dismal.

I can make a list of reasons the world should end this month from looking at the headlines on Fark.com alone. The funny thing is I went there just now to find some articles to link to in order to back up my point, and just had to point out how callous the headline I found was: "Today's school shooting brought to you by Toronto." Our world has become so desensitized that tragedies such as school shootings that they become commonplace and borderline acceptable. What else will become "accpetable" as that line continues to blur between what is decent and what isn't?

But then again, who gives a shit?

3. War/Death/Disease

A Dying Breed

Wars suck. We are so determined to take ourselves out over our differences rather than examine those things that we have in common. What will happen in America when all of our young, willing, and brave are dead or otherwise physically neutered from being sent to fight overseas, and all that are left are the Halo-playing, The Hills-watching, energy drink addicted morons that we are raising now? You don't think it will be more or less difficult for our government to increasingly pull the wool over our eyes, do you? Nahhhh...

As the old die off to make room for the young to come in and take to the head of the table, this will inevitably include the great entertainers, the great minds, and the great souls. And the generation after us and that subsequent generation as well will be left with... who, exactly? Miley Cyrus? This dude? We have been feeling the heat from this one already this year; Issac Hayes and Bernie Mac passed away on us. With these two goliaths in their respective fields taken down and others to soon follow suit, will the future generations ever know the great arts and entertainment we did? Possibly, but do we really want to chance that we won't spend the rest of our natural lives listening to some horrible shit that even Soulja boy will find repulsive in ten years, due to his own maturity?

Also, with the pitiful state the music industry is in, it is becoming increasingly difficult to find new music that is good, just because it is not getting the exposure that new music used to get. Of course there are ways that one can go about finding this stuff if they want to get their nails dirty. People are also going to be less motivated to make good music since they won't, you know, get paid for it, due to all the downloading. The way the RIAA carries on about their business makes people want to download shit more, even if only just to delete it out of spite.



2. Economy

Guess you'll never be a concert flautist

This week, we in the United States suffered a bit of a financial setback. And by that, I mean a whole bunch of people basically lost their ass in the securities market. We were already in a recession, and now we are verging on the biggest crash to hit the stock market since the great depression, since this week's bailout of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. Couple this with the ever increasing gas prices, which are going to ever-increase some more, and we have a hornet's nest loaded up with a powder keg inside of it. It's not going to be long before people can't take it anymore and the next thing we know we have another Madmax on our hands. Just something to think about. As is moving to another country all together. But, chances are one of the American scientists working on the LHC experiment has been negatively affected by this tick in the economy, or any of these other above-mentioned plagues on society, and sees the universal good in it for himself and others to go ahead and pull the plug on this crazy, bumpy rock we're all spinning on.


1. McCain/Palin Presidency (Possibly!)


This is where it is all going to tie together. I am actually quite sick of the subject of McCain and Palin to get into this right now. Basically if we get them into office, we will be fucking ourselves big time. And if one of these scientists are not feeling froggish enough to just end it already, one of these 2 clowns certainly will. McCain by himself leading the country would be bad enough. But there is a very low chance that he going to go 4 years, fuck 8, without toppling over in a fit of death. That means we are going to have a moron in charge that will make Global Warming Bush look like Barack Obama. The woman disputes dinosaurs. Dinosaurs. Can't go much deeper into the persistent fuckery going on in this election on behalf of the GOP without linking to a ton of stuff that you could probably find yourself; nor without vomiting all over myself and my computer, so I will allow you to do your own due diligence on that one. But actually, if you don't already know what the fuck I am talking about, then you are likely part of the problem!

Anyone who agrees, disagress, or feels they have something to add can go ahead and fire off in the comments.