Ghost is Back.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
New Ghostface!!
Ghost is Back.
Monday, October 30, 2006
dronkmunk's Workout Plan
It is important to exercise. Everyone says that, but physical activity or lack thereof, really does have an effect on the human psyche. Overweight men usually suffer from not only heart disease and cholesterol related malaise, but from emotional symptoms also. Consider man-boobs, if you will. They can have a damaging effect on the male mind. For one, being a softbody hinders the female's attraction to the male, and this can result in feelings of rejection and inadequacy, which cause the male to feel depressed and lash out at other males. This is known as Irritable Male Syndrome, or IMS. People also refer to it as "male pms." The negative emotions cause a drop in testosterone, and basically elicit the male to become a bitch.
The fact is, I have come to the realization that I have been suffering from this ailment for quite sometime. I would often turn jackassy and strike out at those I considered close to me for seemingly no reason. Well, I still do actually.
But, by the grace of God, there is a solution. Plenty of exercise, although probably not the type that you have been craving. I see now that if you can't cajole a woman into bed with you, or are just going through a slump, the answer is not to go buy another porno. You have to diet right and hit the gym, especially if you are a person of the fat persuasion. The boost in energy and health, as well as the fufillment of one's goal of a disciplined lifestyle, will boost the male's confidence level and have a positive effect on his personal outlook.
I suggest working on your (and my) abs: (no Lil' Wayne)
For the average person, an abdominal workout should be carried out at least twice a week. The routine takes approximately fifteen minutes from start to finish, therefore no one should complain that it takes too much time off their agenda. Also note that the routine should change approximately every 8 weeks because the targeted muscles will gradually get used to the movement and it will no longer be effective.
Follow this simple abdominal routine to strengthen and shape your abdominal muscles. Perform 3 to 4 sets for each of the 3 exercises. Beginners should achieve between 10 and 20 repetitions for each set and progressively try to complete at least 30 reps for each set.
They then go on to illustrate the three routines which you need to do, which are bench crunches, seated leg tucks, and cable crunches. If you don't know what those are, you can wiki them yourself, 'cause this isn't some bodybuilding rag all of a sudden, you fag.
IMS info gathered from MSNBC
But, by the grace of God, there is a solution. Plenty of exercise, although probably not the type that you have been craving. I see now that if you can't cajole a woman into bed with you, or are just going through a slump, the answer is not to go buy another porno. You have to diet right and hit the gym, especially if you are a person of the fat persuasion. The boost in energy and health, as well as the fufillment of one's goal of a disciplined lifestyle, will boost the male's confidence level and have a positive effect on his personal outlook.
I suggest working on your (and my) abs: (no Lil' Wayne)
For the average person, an abdominal workout should be carried out at least twice a week. The routine takes approximately fifteen minutes from start to finish, therefore no one should complain that it takes too much time off their agenda. Also note that the routine should change approximately every 8 weeks because the targeted muscles will gradually get used to the movement and it will no longer be effective.
Follow this simple abdominal routine to strengthen and shape your abdominal muscles. Perform 3 to 4 sets for each of the 3 exercises. Beginners should achieve between 10 and 20 repetitions for each set and progressively try to complete at least 30 reps for each set.
They then go on to illustrate the three routines which you need to do, which are bench crunches, seated leg tucks, and cable crunches. If you don't know what those are, you can wiki them yourself, 'cause this isn't some bodybuilding rag all of a sudden, you fag.
IMS info gathered from MSNBC
An all-time letdown
USA Today: Invisibility cloak could become a reality
Sound pretty cool, like you've always thought about? Let's bring in some scientists to defile the dream, how's that sound?
Sound pretty cool, like you've always thought about? Let's bring in some scientists to defile the dream, how's that sound?
4 My day is ruined
There's so much here to pick on that I'm going to gloss over some of the disappointments — like how the "prototype so far only hides objects from microwaves" (useful for frozen burritos) — and get straight to my biggest beef.
"There's one drawback to a visible-light invisibility cloak, says physicity Greg Gbur of UNC-Charlotte: 'People won't see you, but you also won't see them, so it's not the same as Harry Potter's cloak.' "
Well fuck me, let's get invisible and bump into everything. Damn it, who put the nerds on my cool spy shit? I guess this is how the eggheads hold it down while I go around telling everyone you can't stop science.
I don't mean to be ungrateful. It's just that I thought this was supposed to make me real smooth, and it's not really acceptable for me to possibly walk off a cliff while I'm invisible and supposed to be getting the drop on all the visible muhfuckas. Next they're going to announce you can go back in time, and the transporter's docked inside your mom's vagina.
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Adventures in modernizing
Some rest stop stalls in America keep ashtrays as a warm nod to the past. Wyoming looks instead to the future of evacuation, and a faceless time-traveler was called to appraise the prophecy.
Photo by laserbomb
Sunday already?
It's been brought to my attention that posting picks after the games could hurt our credibility, so here it comes. I'll 
explain myself, mostly, and you can use your imagination to illustrate the rest of this collector's edition block of text. Home teams tilt to the right.
Houston (+ 3) over Tennessee
The Titans had two weeks to prepare for this game and covered huge spreads in three of their last four games. Houston is all over the place, and probably due to drop off after a big win at home last week against Jacksonville. But what if they'd like me to think that?
Philadelphia (- 7) over Jacksonville
Both teams are coming off bad weeks. The Eagles are coming off two bad weeks in a row after beating Dallas at home, and if this team's worth a damn like they like to think, the game won't be close.
Cincinnati (- 3) over Atlanta
As unsteady as the Bengals have been this season, Atlanta can beat anybody at that game. They've bounced pretty regularly between big wins and beer shits for the last month, so I'd rather not count on them to cover on the road.
New York Giants (- 9) over Tampa Bay
The spread seemed a little wide, and Tampa Bay pulled out two close wins at home against decent teams the last two weeks. But I changed on this one as I typed it out.
San Francisco (+ 16) over Chicago
This line looks too high. It's one of the best teams at home against one of the worst, and the best teams through the first third of the season just get pumped up way too much, too early. I don't believe Rex Grossman has it all together yet, no matter what anyone says about what a leader he is, and I'm taking a stand.
Green Bay (- 4) over Arizona
Matt Leinart might be a rare rookie quarterback who could turn his underachieving team around after two hard losses. But Mike McCarthy could tape Dennis Green to a goalpost without moving a muscle, and it's probably going to take people a year or two to recognize what he's got going.
Seattle (+ 6) over Kansas City
Baltimore (+ 2) over New Orleans
A couple of this year's Saints' victims sounded pathetic after their losses, talking about all the city's been through and how it was the easiest loss they ever took. I don't know for sure, but if anyone couldn't give a shit it might be Ray Lewis. I think the Ravens will be right there, even if Steve McNair finally turns into a zombie and can't tell the difference between teammate and opponent brains.
St. Louis (+ 9.5) over San Diego
I think the Chargers are one of the best teams around so far this year, but I don't think they'll win by ten, and I can see the Rams coming in and stealing it to keep up with Seattle in the NFC West.
Oakland (+ 9) over Pittsburgh
So I never explained why I picked the Giants after giving reasons Tampa Bay could win. These big lines are tempting when there's not an enormous difference between the good and bad teams. On the other hand, picking all four underdogs to cover 9+ point spreads is a good way to end up working outside, holding a dirty cardboard sign. Dronkmunk's not getting rid of me that quickly and easily. If the Steelers want to try to recreate last year's title run by barely sliding into the playoffs again, I'm not going to try to stop them.
Carolina (- 5) over Dallas
The Panthers saw a four-game winning streak end last week. The Cowboys are hanging in there but probably aren't good enough to take this one.
Cleveland (+ 1.5) over New York Jets
Changing offensive coordinators and playcallers midseason never seems ideal. But I don't think the Jets will be able to take advantage this week.
Indianapolis (+ 3) over Denver
Denver's home advantage is one of the best in the league, and it hasn't helped them score 20 points in any game this season. The Colts scored 21 in five of six. Don't get me wrong, Peyton Manning's among the best players ever to choke in every big game. But it's still only October, and it'll be a couple months before he screws the pooch like a real MVP. By Sunday night, Indy will be hyped at least as much as the Bears, and probably more.
New England (- 2) over Minnesota
Photo from 360texas.com
explain myself, mostly, and you can use your imagination to illustrate the rest of this collector's edition block of text. Home teams tilt to the right.Houston (+ 3) over Tennessee
The Titans had two weeks to prepare for this game and covered huge spreads in three of their last four games. Houston is all over the place, and probably due to drop off after a big win at home last week against Jacksonville. But what if they'd like me to think that?
Philadelphia (- 7) over Jacksonville
Both teams are coming off bad weeks. The Eagles are coming off two bad weeks in a row after beating Dallas at home, and if this team's worth a damn like they like to think, the game won't be close.
Cincinnati (- 3) over Atlanta
As unsteady as the Bengals have been this season, Atlanta can beat anybody at that game. They've bounced pretty regularly between big wins and beer shits for the last month, so I'd rather not count on them to cover on the road.
New York Giants (- 9) over Tampa Bay
The spread seemed a little wide, and Tampa Bay pulled out two close wins at home against decent teams the last two weeks. But I changed on this one as I typed it out.
San Francisco (+ 16) over Chicago
This line looks too high. It's one of the best teams at home against one of the worst, and the best teams through the first third of the season just get pumped up way too much, too early. I don't believe Rex Grossman has it all together yet, no matter what anyone says about what a leader he is, and I'm taking a stand.
Green Bay (- 4) over Arizona
Matt Leinart might be a rare rookie quarterback who could turn his underachieving team around after two hard losses. But Mike McCarthy could tape Dennis Green to a goalpost without moving a muscle, and it's probably going to take people a year or two to recognize what he's got going.
Seattle (+ 6) over Kansas City
Baltimore (+ 2) over New Orleans
A couple of this year's Saints' victims sounded pathetic after their losses, talking about all the city's been through and how it was the easiest loss they ever took. I don't know for sure, but if anyone couldn't give a shit it might be Ray Lewis. I think the Ravens will be right there, even if Steve McNair finally turns into a zombie and can't tell the difference between teammate and opponent brains.
St. Louis (+ 9.5) over San Diego
I think the Chargers are one of the best teams around so far this year, but I don't think they'll win by ten, and I can see the Rams coming in and stealing it to keep up with Seattle in the NFC West.
Oakland (+ 9) over Pittsburgh
So I never explained why I picked the Giants after giving reasons Tampa Bay could win. These big lines are tempting when there's not an enormous difference between the good and bad teams. On the other hand, picking all four underdogs to cover 9+ point spreads is a good way to end up working outside, holding a dirty cardboard sign. Dronkmunk's not getting rid of me that quickly and easily. If the Steelers want to try to recreate last year's title run by barely sliding into the playoffs again, I'm not going to try to stop them.
Carolina (- 5) over Dallas
The Panthers saw a four-game winning streak end last week. The Cowboys are hanging in there but probably aren't good enough to take this one.
Cleveland (+ 1.5) over New York Jets
Changing offensive coordinators and playcallers midseason never seems ideal. But I don't think the Jets will be able to take advantage this week.
Indianapolis (+ 3) over Denver
Denver's home advantage is one of the best in the league, and it hasn't helped them score 20 points in any game this season. The Colts scored 21 in five of six. Don't get me wrong, Peyton Manning's among the best players ever to choke in every big game. But it's still only October, and it'll be a couple months before he screws the pooch like a real MVP. By Sunday night, Indy will be hyped at least as much as the Bears, and probably more.
New England (- 2) over Minnesota
Photo from 360texas.com
Saturday, October 28, 2006
Iron Chef (pt. 2)
BALLANTINE SPEAKS TO RAEKWON
The Raekwon event at Varsity theater on Friday night was so laid back, so informal, that I joked to a buddy of mine, Carlos, that I could probably just walk backstage if I had wanted to. Then I decided to give it a shot. Earlier, I had spoken to John, a wu-tang promoter who I knew from my previous run-in with the clan, about possibly hooking up a quick interview. He told me twice that I should contact him after the show and he would see what Rae wanted to do. When I snuck backstage I had almost made it all the way there but was told I needed to brandish a red wristband to verfiy my authorization. So, what ended up happening was when I went over to wait for John by the portal to the backstage, Rae was right behind him on his way out of the building, through a side door at the left of the stage. So I quickly approached Rae and fired off as many questions as I could read from my pad in the darkness.
DRONKMUNK: Hey Raekwon, you mind if I get a quick interview with you? For my website?
Rae: Who are you? What website?
DM: It’s dronkmunk.blogspot.com. I named it after that line from the wu-tang song..Can I get 60 seconds with you real quick?
Ok, go ahead.
DM: First, can you sign this for me?
Nah, nah, man. You gonna start a whole trend with that.
DM: Alright, I can respect that.
Aiight.
DM: Ok, I have some food questions since you’re the chef.
Ok.
DM: During the recording of the "Biters" skit on Cuban Linx, were you guys eating candy?
Nah, man.
DM: Really? Cause it sounds like someone was eating some Mike n' Ikes or something.
Uh-uh.
DM:Ok, What is your favorite food?
Fish.
DM: Ok, you mean "fish" as in cocaine, or like actual fish?
Fish.
"Cancun, catch me in the room, eatin' grouper.."
DM: What rappers are you really feeling that are doin’ it right now?
Me. Me, myself, and I. That’s it.
DM: So, who are you not really feeling these days?
I ain't likin' nobody.
DM: So, you don’t like any of the new rappers coming out today?
Nah. Well, I’m not impressed by them. They don’t impress me. Say that.
DM: What is your favorite drink?
Hennessy. I’m out. Bye.
The Raekwon event at Varsity theater on Friday night was so laid back, so informal, that I joked to a buddy of mine, Carlos, that I could probably just walk backstage if I had wanted to. Then I decided to give it a shot. Earlier, I had spoken to John, a wu-tang promoter who I knew from my previous run-in with the clan, about possibly hooking up a quick interview. He told me twice that I should contact him after the show and he would see what Rae wanted to do. When I snuck backstage I had almost made it all the way there but was told I needed to brandish a red wristband to verfiy my authorization. So, what ended up happening was when I went over to wait for John by the portal to the backstage, Rae was right behind him on his way out of the building, through a side door at the left of the stage. So I quickly approached Rae and fired off as many questions as I could read from my pad in the darkness.
DRONKMUNK: Hey Raekwon, you mind if I get a quick interview with you? For my website?
Rae: Who are you? What website?
DM: It’s dronkmunk.blogspot.com. I named it after that line from the wu-tang song..Can I get 60 seconds with you real quick?
Ok, go ahead.
DM: First, can you sign this for me?
Nah, nah, man. You gonna start a whole trend with that.
DM: Alright, I can respect that.
Aiight.
DM: Ok, I have some food questions since you’re the chef.
Ok.
DM: During the recording of the "Biters" skit on Cuban Linx, were you guys eating candy?
Nah, man.
DM: Really? Cause it sounds like someone was eating some Mike n' Ikes or something.
Uh-uh.
DM:Ok, What is your favorite food?
Fish.
DM: Ok, you mean "fish" as in cocaine, or like actual fish?
Fish.
"Cancun, catch me in the room, eatin' grouper.."
DM: What rappers are you really feeling that are doin’ it right now?
Me. Me, myself, and I. That’s it.
DM: So, who are you not really feeling these days?
I ain't likin' nobody.
DM: So, you don’t like any of the new rappers coming out today?
Nah. Well, I’m not impressed by them. They don’t impress me. Say that.
DM: What is your favorite drink?
Hennessy. I’m out. Bye.
Iron Chef (pt. 1)
Raekwon@ Varsity Theater Minneapolis
Totally surreal. That is how I would describe Raekwon’s gratis (sponsored by Scion) show at the Varsity Theater. In the little bit of advertising done to promote this concert, it was adamant that one MUST RSVP in order to get in. Doors at 9. RSVP does not guarantee admission, so when I arrived late at 8:30 I was expecting to be left out in the cold due to the high volume of people who would no doubt want to see a legend perform for free. When I got there, there was no line. If the Marquee didn’t read Raekwon The Chef, I would have thought I was in the wrong place.
What seemed like just over a hundred people ended up showing up, which made the concert a very intimate experience. When Raekwon finally took the stage at midnight, he had a live band with him. The band did their best to re-create songs like “Ice Cream” and “Glaciers of Ice,” the latter was probably the least successful attempt of the night. But it was so very satisfying seeing Rae up there clearly having a good time and ripping through most of his Only Built for Cuban Link album and some songs from the first 2 Wu joints. It was a truly special event.
Crazy Dean ended up showing himself too. Guess who else showed up? That’s right, The White Dude, (he goes by John, as it turns out) who’s chain got broken by Dean. I brought up what happened during his last trip to Minneapolis and he shrugged it off. “Got my heater with me this time,” he admitted. He also mentioned that had a few of the crew members from the August show not been on parole, Dean would have been “popped.”
Here is a photo I took of the chain, which does not do it justice. The thing was beautiful. Still not fucking worth it if you ask me.
Human Plinko
He'll fall on his own, and you can move him with the mouse too.
This link does not indicate the political views held by Quart of Ballantine, nor by any authors or intermediaries thereof. Now wait a hot minute, that's a mild coincidence! Anyway, it'd be here even if it were Hillary or that Obama. That's funny-- someone was just telling me, something about faith in futility.
Thanks planetdan.net! Photo from gscentral.net
This link does not indicate the political views held by Quart of Ballantine, nor by any authors or intermediaries thereof. Now wait a hot minute, that's a mild coincidence! Anyway, it'd be here even if it were Hillary or that Obama. That's funny-- someone was just telling me, something about faith in futility.
Thanks planetdan.net! Photo from gscentral.net
Don't forgetcha coat
We got an upset Sunday coming up.
I hesitate to shout my NFL picks at America. Two weeks ago I hit on only 4 of 13 games against the spread (4-9), and on a clear day I get six local channels through my coat hanger. That means I
have to hit a bar with Sunday Ticket (twist my arm) if I want to see the ball instead of moving fuzz. Last week, though, I went 10-4, and in five weeks testing my luck I've picked or tied 41 of 69.
have to hit a bar with Sunday Ticket (twist my arm) if I want to see the ball instead of moving fuzz. Last week, though, I went 10-4, and in five weeks testing my luck I've picked or tied 41 of 69. 59% in the money or even is about as good as most of the full-timers can swing, so I guess I'll put it down until I either crash and burn or make enough to retire to the Caribbean.
Me covered the spread, now give I di coil, bumba clotThe league's a lot bigger on equality these days, and I guess that's good if your team sucks. It also makes it tougher to be an expert, so maybe the people who put in 60 hours a week don't have as much of an edge as they used to. I promise I'll never spend more than half an hour on the picks each week; I did that two weeks ago and that 4-9 cramped my whole program. No need to overthink a crapshoot.
Get ready, America.
Still true over five years later, and the Vikings still peak too soon too
Photos from rit.edu/~andpph; sailingyachts.com; and a bitter B. Tang at U of M
Get ready, America.
Still true over five years later, and the Vikings still peak too soon too
Photos from rit.edu/~andpph; sailingyachts.com; and a bitter B. Tang at U of M
Friday, October 27, 2006
It ain't that kinda thing
Ray! Ray! We love you Ray! Can you play--?
Photos: prisonart.org; jesus-is-savior.com; itsablackthang.com. Concert audio from findadeath.com
On the brand
Before Cobain was a seed, there was Hemingway. Sure, books are a waste of time, and the writer got a few more decent decades in before he lost a round of Hug That Shotty. But when he killed himself in July 1961, he was about the biggest thing around.
Unlike Mr. Courtney Love, he survived a plane crash, then survived again when the rescue plane also crashed, all so he could have seven more years and do it his own way.
"The 1959 birthday party at Málaga: Ernest shooting a cigarette from the lips of bullfighter Antonio Ordoñez"
Celebrity endorsements can come off pretty hollow, but he only made one in his life, in this 1951 letter to the public. Apparently some marketers didn't worry as much at the time about being all subliminal.
You have to work hard to deserve to drink it. But I would rather have a bottle of Ballantine Ale than any other drink after fighting a really big fish.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY
Unlike Mr. Courtney Love, he survived a plane crash, then survived again when the rescue plane also crashed, all so he could have seven more years and do it his own way.
"The 1959 birthday party at Málaga: Ernest shooting a cigarette from the lips of bullfighter Antonio Ordoñez"Celebrity endorsements can come off pretty hollow, but he only made one in his life, in this 1951 letter to the public. Apparently some marketers didn't worry as much at the time about being all subliminal.
You have to work hard to deserve to drink it. But I would rather have a bottle of Ballantine Ale than any other drink after fighting a really big fish.We keep it iced in the bait box with chunks of ice packed around it. And you ought to taste it on a hot day when you have worked a big marlin fast because there were sharks after him.
You are tired all the way through. The fish is landed untouched by sharks and you have a bottle of Ballantine cold in your hand and drink it cool, light and full-bodied, so it tastes good long after you have swallowed it. That's the test of an ale with me: whether it tastes as good afterwards as when it's going down. Ballantine does.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY
FINCA VIGIA, SAN FRANCISCO DE PAULA, CUBA
Photos: A. E. Hotchner, published in Papa Hemingway; 40ouncebeer.com. Ads from falstaffbrewing.com
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Ain't no tellin..
If I wasnt rappin
I probably be wrasslin'
hand-to-hand grapplin'
on the corner of Madison
Or real estatin'
tryin' to sell you a mansion
Or rollerbladin' doin 360 flash spins
Or I probably be flippin a burger
attemptin' a murder
paralyzed, sippin' on gerber
I could be workin' at Joe's
chain snatchin
jerkin' ya jewels
homeless workin' for food
attemptin' a murder
paralyzed, sippin' on gerber
I could be workin' at Joe's
chain snatchin
jerkin' ya jewels
homeless workin' for food
I might be cleanin' ya pool
teachin ya' school
preachin' to fools
leechin'
smokin' weed to be cool
at DMVs, holdin lines up
or wind up in line ups
time's up
teachin ya' school
preachin' to fools
leechin'
smokin' weed to be cool
at DMVs, holdin lines up
or wind up in line ups
time's up
fulla holes
in a hole
in a fine tux
Out on parole
outta control
holdin' ya dime up
I could be lazy
sittin on ya couch
Or I could be crazy
cussin' pigeons out
in a hole
in a fine tux
Out on parole
outta control
holdin' ya dime up
I could be lazy
sittin on ya couch
Or I could be crazy
cussin' pigeons out
I could be hustlin' bags
strugglin' bad
if I wasn't up in the lab
shit, I just might be
cuttin' ya grass
walkin' ya dog
pumpin ya gas
or nothin' at all..
Photos by HBO.com
Live by the pen-- live by the gun?
Woke up this morning when the doorbell buzzed and my new shoes arrived. I was still pretty out of it, though, and I went back to sleep, to sleep, to sleep . . .
I was waiting in the car in a parking lot, pulled up in the row along a storefront. Looked over and saw Scoop Jackson in the car next to me. It was this Scoop, not the former presidential candidate or the camping adventurer.
I put my window down and told him about something he'd done I liked. I don't remember what, but I know I started off with a positive. He didn't really respond, and I continued anyway and told him he was way off on the T.J. Ford trade. I recognize what he brings to the table, but I could argue it was a good call and barely even mention the hairless starting power forward the Bucks got back for him.
Scoop put his window up, and everyone got out of his car and switched seats. He got in the back and a companion stayed out, drew steel and started firing. The first three shots all missed from six feet away, and the muscle came closer while Scoop watched tranquilly from his back seat. I had scrunched in my seat when the shooting started, but didn't really panic. And after the first three shots, I realized that if I just closed my eyes in the dream, I'd never know if the next rounds hit me or not.
I opened my eyes in a bedroom that didn't look right. It was my bed and bookcase and everything, though, so I decided I was awake and home. I got up to go outside, and wound up on the corner outside my old place in my college town. A couple six- to eight-year-old boys were out there running, trying to sell people some six- to eight-year-old pussy. What's this dream world coming to?
Photos collected from: some dismantled online shoe store; jsonline.com; and everyone else is using that Scoop shot without credit so unfortunately I can't recognize the original either.
I was waiting in the car in a parking lot, pulled up in the row along a storefront. Looked over and saw Scoop Jackson in the car next to me. It was this Scoop, not the former presidential candidate or the camping adventurer.
I put my window down and told him about something he'd done I liked. I don't remember what, but I know I started off with a positive. He didn't really respond, and I continued anyway and told him he was way off on the T.J. Ford trade. I recognize what he brings to the table, but I could argue it was a good call and barely even mention the hairless starting power forward the Bucks got back for him.Scoop put his window up, and everyone got out of his car and switched seats. He got in the back and a companion stayed out, drew steel and started firing. The first three shots all missed from six feet away, and the muscle came closer while Scoop watched tranquilly from his back seat. I had scrunched in my seat when the shooting started, but didn't really panic. And after the first three shots, I realized that if I just closed my eyes in the dream, I'd never know if the next rounds hit me or not.
I opened my eyes in a bedroom that didn't look right. It was my bed and bookcase and everything, though, so I decided I was awake and home. I got up to go outside, and wound up on the corner outside my old place in my college town. A couple six- to eight-year-old boys were out there running, trying to sell people some six- to eight-year-old pussy. What's this dream world coming to?
Don't question it
Photos collected from: some dismantled online shoe store; jsonline.com; and everyone else is using that Scoop shot without credit so unfortunately I can't recognize the original either.
Hot Boys
Anyone think Lil' Wayne might be a lil' ...you know..?
Not that there's anything wrong with that..
This picture looks kinda fake, actually. Look at that hand in between them..whose hand is that? Methinks someone's been havin fun with the Weezy F. Baby..
But then again, the end of this radio interview is kinda questionable
Not that there's anything wrong with that..
This picture looks kinda fake, actually. Look at that hand in between them..whose hand is that? Methinks someone's been havin fun with the Weezy F. Baby..
But then again, the end of this radio interview is kinda questionable
An all-time letdown
Invisibility cloak could become a reality
Sounds really cool, right, like you've always imagined? Let's leave it to a bunch of scientists and USA Today to defile the dream.
4 And in reality, you ruined my day
There's so much to pick on that I'm going to gloss over a couple big disappointments — the "prototype so far only hides objects from microwaves," (useful for burritos) and measures 5 inches across (sweet, now I can hide things I had trouble finding already) — and get straight to my biggest beef.
"There's one drawback to a visible-light invisibility cloak, says physicity Greg Gbur of UNC-Charlotte: "People won't see you, but you also won't see them, so it's not the same as Harry Potter's cloak."
Well fuck me. I tell everyone you can't stop science, and this is how the eggheads get my back. Glad I waited the last twenty years and set up to camp out for twenty more, just so I can "be invisible" and walk around, bumping into shit. Who put the nerds on the cool spy shit?
This is supposed to be hot shit that makes me smooth! Good thing I might accidentally walk off a cliff while I'm invisible and supposed to be getting the drop on all the visible motherfuckers. This sucks. Next they'll announce you can go back in time, but the transporter's inside your mom's vagina. Jesus fuck, thanks for nothing.
How bout you get back to the device that will stop homeless people from asking for my cigarettes?
Hey man, can I bum a smoke? Pun intended, get it? Cause I am, yeah, yeah . . . Ha yeah, I have no teeth either, that's why I really like this lobster pudding
Graphics from USA Today; photographyblog.com
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
What would we do..?
This here is fucked up
Hang in there, McFly!
Sha-la-la-la, indeed. This was my shit.
Wait a minute, Doc. Ah... Are you telling me you built a time machine... out of a DeLorean? This was my shit too.
Hang in there, McFly!
Sha-la-la-la, indeed. This was my shit.
Wait a minute, Doc. Ah... Are you telling me you built a time machine... out of a DeLorean? This was my shit too.
Powdered Sugar
Had to purge us of that nastiness
Jay-Z - Dear Summer
Cam'ron - Down and out
Juvenile - Rodeo
Lil' Wayne - Money on my mind
Rick Ross - Chevy Ridin' High
Raekwon ft. Ghostface - Glaciers of ice
The Clipse ft. Jay-z - Where you been
The Meters - Cissy Strut
Mobb Deep ft. 50 Cent. - Pearly Gates (no seriously, this is a good song)
And finally, a kind of annoying song by Dj Unk feat. Jim Jones and a new verse from Andre 3000, which ain't bad.
Lost One
Hov takes an L.
Jay is back in the game, for better or worse.
The new Kingdom Come leak is called 'Lost Ones.'
I like Jay. I was really hoping the comparisons to MJ stopped at them both being two of the greatest to ever do what they do, but it’s obvious to me now that they have both fallen off in a similar way. I mean Jay-Z being president of def-jam is akin Jordan playing baseball. Most of us can remember how much he sucked at it, and according to some of the artists on Def Jam, Jay doesn't seem to be doing very well at his new gig either. And now in his comeback, his skills have clearly diminished, just like the three-peater.
"I am the Mike Jordan of recording,
you might want to fall back from recording" (??)
Damn I was really looking forward to this too...
Weed Hunt: Round 2
I want mine just as green, less teef more keef
There's no place to sit down and relax outside in this town, really, they set it up like a casino. It was pretty quiet out. One guy on a bike stopped and asked me what I got. I gave him a beer and asked what he had, a couple of ragged Girls Gone Wild tapes. A car pulled up about then and he went over to talk for a minute and came back. We agreed there was nothing happening and before long I stupidly wondered aloud where the spot was.
Never wild enough
He was pretty smart, and he knew where it was. I was half-assed skeptical, and told him I wasn't down with handing off to a runner and I needed to smell it before cash changed hands. He told me he knew someone lost some rocks once that way, and I said it was cool and I didn't need anything. He said he wanted to smoke and if I'd get him blowed we'd be able to work something out.
We got to the house, and our man wasn't there. "Probably out slinging," so we went back outside. Another friend was driving by, stopped, and we went over. Maybe it was the same friend from before, I didn't know and I wasn't watching the cars very closely yet.
My buddy in the red jumpsuit got in the back and told me to get in the front. I held the door open and asked where to. "To the spot, man, he ain't ridin dirty!" I stood there and he got out of the backseat, sat in the front, and I got in the back. Another car pulled up coming the other way and the driver got out to talk to them, closeknit community here. Original dude turned around in the front and said maybe he could get a twenty from them. I wasn't impressed but a couple minutes later he asked again and said, "I want to smoke, damn, sometimes you got to trust somebody, damn!" I peeled off a twenty and said, "we'd better get blown," and it sounded as worthless at the time too.
After a short conference, he came back and said they couldn't split it up and we needed to go all in. I knew it was a lost cause and told him to forget it. We began the charade of asking for the cash back, and I waited in the car. When I heard him say "let me get that twenty back" more loudly than the rest, it was my turn to get out of the car and say, "forget it, let's get the twenty back. Let me smell it or give it back." They weren't inspired to please me and I walked over to the passenger window to listen to some old bullshit. Now I could see the couple of cracky ladies in the other car. They said I was making them nervous, and I said "you ripping me off is making me nervous, handicapped plates ######"
Now beat that, and your mother's sayin', "Go to college . . ."
The two guys stayed cool, but it hit a nerve with one of the girls and she started screaming about a .380. I respected the possibility but also knew the take for that gun at a pawn shop would have been all right. The difference between stealing some cash and leaving a body seemed clear, too, and she didn't get the reaction she hoped for. "We'll run you over, run him over," the bitch said, and when they started doing the reverse-forward Y-turn manuevering, I respected that too and started jogging out of the street and into the block. I noticed red jumpsuit was on his bike halfway down the block and on his way to wild college girls on break.
While they continued dicking around and making a racket, I got into a yard and far enough away from the car. The driver yelled "bang!" and cackled as they decided against the lawn route and sped past in the streets. Now the dogs along the alley were barking and I could hear the car peeling around the block and not getting the hell out of there to their spot. I cut through a couple blocks until I couldn't hear them under the dogs, and kept going careful and paranoid on home.
Hopefully I can smarten up and end the game show, and stop awarding free money to cheap hustlers. It's embarrassing.
"Look at the studio filled with glamorous merchandise, fabulous and exciting bonus prizes . . . just waiting to be won as we present our big bonanza of cash"
When I got back, I started making some food and an alarm went off outside. I looked out the window and didn't see any cars flashing, and guessed it was a building on the block. The siren was annoying until it stopped after ten minutes or so, right after it crossed my mind to take a long chance to give the ladies some trouble for their easy money. According to an anonymous tip, a suspicious caucasian female ran to an idling sedan ###### and peeled out after the alarm went off. There's only a small shot they'll even be hassled for 2 minutes.
But I've seen police here turn on the sirens to make a right turn from the left lane, turn them off half a block away and continue driving (also flash them to get through some slow traffic, then turn them off a block later, etc.), so who knows, maybe they'll be beaten to death. It wouldn't really get me my money back, though, or even much satisfac. Those sluts beat me fair and square, and I'm the dumbest guy around.
oh hell naw
I have a fucking mouse in my apartment.
Now I am going to have to deal with this disgusting thing.
Any suggestions?
Now I am going to have to deal with this disgusting thing.
Any suggestions?
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
The bright side of suicide
A clearly thrilled Kurt Cobain accepts his award for Top-Earning Dead Person
NEW YORK (Reuters) — Rock 'n' roll legend Elvis Presley ceded his crown to Nirvana lead singer Kurt Cobain on Forbes.com's list as the top-earning dead celebrity. The list, published Tuesday, said grunge rocker Cobain earned $50 million between October 2005 and October 2006. Presley wound up in the No. 2 slot with $42 million, down from last year's $45 million.
Forbes.com bases its dollar amounts on licensing deals for using the deceased celebrities' work or image in advertising or elsewhere.
This was Cobain's first time on the list in its six years of publication. Presley has ruled the roost since its inception, said Forbes.com staff writer Lacey Rose.
Cobain's coup was due to his widow, actress and singer Courtney Love, who sold a 25% stake in the Seattle grunge group's song catalog to New York music publishing company PrimeWave.
Ranked after Presley is Peanuts cartoon strip creator Charles Schulz at $35 million.
Rounding out the top five were Beatle John Lennon at $24 million and groundbreaking physicist Albert Einstein at $20 million, whose estate profited from such licensing deals as the popular Baby Einstein educational videos.
Other celebrities on the list include Theodore Geisel, better known as children's book author Dr. Seuss; rhythm & blues pioneer Ray Charles, silver screen legend Marilyn Monroe and reggae superstar Bob Marley.
Past top earners include songwriter Irving Berlin and actor Marlon Brando.
From USA Today/Reuters
So, I guess you are supposed to become famous before shooting yourself in the mouth. Hopefully this guy will skip that step...
Don't be surprised if she ask where the cash at
Gettin' paid, gettin' paid! Ex-Source Top Editor Kim Osorio Awarded 14.5 Million in lawsuit
The Bible of Hip Hop is out a lot of Benjamins.
A federal jury in Manhattan yesterday ruled that The Source magazine and its two founders must pay $14.5 million to a former top editor who described a raunched-out workplace where executives watched porn, smoked pot and called female employees "b------."
"I feel like I've been vindicated," said Kimberly Osorio, who was canned last year. "Whether it's hip hop, rock 'n' roll or the post office, there's still laws a company needs to abide by."
The jury took just four hours to find that Osorio was fired in retaliation for complaining about sexual shenanigans at the magazine.
It also found that co-owner Raymond (Benzino) Scott defamed her during a radio interview when he accused the single mom of bed-hopping with hip-hop honchos.
Source co-owner Ray Benzino came out on wrong end of $14.5M suit.
"This verdict shows that all women must be treated with dignity and respect, no matter what industry they work in," said Osorio's lawyer, Kenneth Thompson.
In his closing argument, the former federal prosecutor told jurors that the "eyes of the hip-hop community are upon you" while urging them to hammer Scott and co-founder David Mays.
Thompson also replayed a vile telephone tirade in which Scott called a music journalist an "ugly butch pig" and a "slut monkey."
But an attorney for The Source - who admitted the tape hurt the magazine's case - insisted the workplace wasn't an X-rated rap video come to life.
"It's quiet, it's people working hard," said Mercedes Colwin, adding that she plans to appeal the verdict.
In her closing, Colwin admitted that four-letter words were often flung around at The Source - just not directly at Osorio.
"They used the 'f---' word, the 's---' word, the 'damn' word," she said. "It was not a gender-specific conduct whatsoever."
Osorio, 32, was formally appointed the magazine's first female editor in chief in November 2003. At a salary of $130,000, she presided over a best-selling issue that had Jay-Z on the cover before being fired in February 2005.
"She climbed to the top of the corporate ladder at The Source - only to be knocked down by men who believe women are inferior," Thompson said.
From New York Daily
Well, I'm just glad I don't have to worry about any sexual harrasment suits coming my way. Not if laserbomb keeps his mouth shut.
new videos
The Game's new video for his upcoming album Doctor's Advocate called My Bootyful Blind Date
Wait, how did that get in here?
Sorry, the new video is called Let's Ride (Strip Club). My bad.
The Clipse has a new video for the song Wamp Wamp (what it do) from the upcoming album Hell Hath No Fury
BIG BIG BIG-UPPS to my man at therapup for the Clipse clip!
Wait, how did that get in here?
Sorry, the new video is called Let's Ride (Strip Club). My bad.
The Clipse has a new video for the song Wamp Wamp (what it do) from the upcoming album Hell Hath No Fury
BIG BIG BIG-UPPS to my man at therapup for the Clipse clip!
Yo, this is The Rock
...kickin it with the Refugee Camp, and you're bout to smell! what The Rock is cooking.
If it's tough to get up this morning, let's get your pulse pumping. Thanks Wyclef! This man recorded one of the first rap songs to ever get me going. Maybe that says more about my blind, hairy-palmed 15-year-old self than it does about Clef, but he helped out the band at Dave's Block Party too.
I have no gifts to give, pa-rrap-up-ap-um!
If it's tough to get up this morning, let's get your pulse pumping. Thanks Wyclef! This man recorded one of the first rap songs to ever get me going. Maybe that says more about my blind, hairy-palmed 15-year-old self than it does about Clef, but he helped out the band at Dave's Block Party too.
I have no gifts to give, pa-rrap-up-ap-um!
Weed Hunt: Round 1
I'm about three months into a ten-month stint in a new city in the middle Midwest. There's a college campus on the west side of town, a small and mostly unremarkable downtown, and an east side with charming $30,000 homes all over the place. Stubbornness and a sense of entitlement have led me to mostly avoid making small talk in search of the final thing I'm looking for here. Instead, I thought I'd try asking conspicuous strangers point blank about their abilities to hook me up. Let's ease into the series with a safe old standby I've heard at least half a dozen times, all over this ass-covering, north Southern town.
Transplant: Hey, you know where the spot is?
Liar: The spot?
Transplant: The weed spot?
Liar: Nope. Wish I did!
Always a pleasure.
Is that a fair price you're quoting me there, sir?
Transplant: Hey, you know where the spot is?
Liar: The spot?
Transplant: The weed spot?
Liar: Nope. Wish I did!
Always a pleasure.
Is that a fair price you're quoting me there, sir?
Monday, October 23, 2006
Omni Kingdom
Ballantine welcomes new contributor lazerbomb (aka RJB)
Bulletproof Brothers lazerbomb (left) and dronkmunk circa 2004, in happier times: "We're starting a new regime around here!"
We try to stay humble. It's partly just a smart hedge, in case someone comes along one day to tear down our enormous statues and settle in to watch the Super Bowl in our palace.
But sometimes you've got to shine to shine.
Youtube may be in danger! so act fast and get comfortable with Dronkmunk's immersive stylings. You're looking at 59:11 total, and if you're efficient with the navigation you'll knock them out in under an hour, no sweat. Really, scratch that-- you'll be sweating them, all right. And when you keep backing up in astoundment because you can barely believe what your senses are giving you, it might take all night.
All that said, start with Streets of Jamdung and go from there.
Bulletproof Brothers lazerbomb (left) and dronkmunk circa 2004, in happier times: "We're starting a new regime around here!"
We try to stay humble. It's partly just a smart hedge, in case someone comes along one day to tear down our enormous statues and settle in to watch the Super Bowl in our palace.
But sometimes you've got to shine to shine.
Youtube may be in danger! so act fast and get comfortable with Dronkmunk's immersive stylings. You're looking at 59:11 total, and if you're efficient with the navigation you'll knock them out in under an hour, no sweat. Really, scratch that-- you'll be sweating them, all right. And when you keep backing up in astoundment because you can barely believe what your senses are giving you, it might take all night.
All that said, start with Streets of Jamdung and go from there.
Whipped Cream
Man, google images is the truth.
The Roots - Clock With No Hands
Masta Killa - DTD (do the dance)
Too Short ft. Snoop Dogg an