An all-time letdown

USA Today: Invisibility cloak could become a reality

Sound pretty cool, like you've always thought about? Let's bring in some scientists to defile the dream, how's that sound?

4 My day is ruined

There's so much here to pick on that I'm going to gloss over some of the disappointments — like how the "prototype so far only hides objects from microwaves" (useful for frozen burritos) — and get straight to my biggest beef.

"There's one drawback to a visible-light invisibility cloak, says physicity Greg Gbur of UNC-Charlotte: 'People won't see you, but you also won't see them, so it's not the same as Harry Potter's cloak.' "

Well fuck me, let's get invisible and bump into everything. Damn it, who put the nerds on my cool spy shit? I guess this is how the eggheads hold it down while I go around telling everyone you can't stop science.

I don't mean to be ungrateful. It's just that I thought this was supposed to make me real smooth, and it's not really acceptable for me to possibly walk off a cliff while I'm invisible and supposed to be getting the drop on all the visible muhfuckas. Next they're going to announce you can go back in time, and the transporter's docked inside your mom's vagina.